Avast, me reading beauties! Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day! An' you'll be a landlubber if ye are not observing this the smartest of all holidays.
Me friends over at Talklikeapirate.com have put together a primer of sorts. Ye'll find directions for Picking up Pirates, Advanced Pirate Lingo, and other clever diversions.
Arrrrr, now, go, ye scurvy bilge rat, before I'm inclined to make ye walk the plank!